Calling all Friends

Okay, okay...I know I suck! I have been promising this post for a few days now. But I've been thinking about it a lot! Anyway, here it is finally....

dun dun duuuuuun

I had a rare opportunity to be at home by myself last night, so I ate it up!

I had a shower, changed into my pj's, and settled under a blanket on the couch to watch some Sex and the City.

This show, quite simply, is amazing. Not only do I love the drama as well as the jokes, but I love to see relationships between 4 strong women who manage to make the time to spend with one another, and to be there for one another. The older I'm getting the more I'm realizing how precious good, healthy relationships are with friends-and how hard it is to maintain them.

Watching the show made me long for that kind of group of friends. One where everyone got along, could speak honestly and openly around one another, and supported one another in whatever they were going through, regardless if they understood exactly what the others were going through or not.

It made me think...What makes women connect with one another? And what makes us comfortable around certain women but not around others? Why is it that we can bare our soul to some and come away feeling protected and unburdened, but with some women we reveal one thing and we come away feeling attacked? Why is it that we feel completely at ease with some women and yet others make us feel like we're competing about everything in life?

I also wonder why I have many different friends but they don't all get along with one another...I find that bizzare. If I like them, you would think they would like each other. But alas, this is not always the case.

I want to live my life with the healthiest relationships possible with people, and I want a support system of people, and especially women, in my life who are going to support me, compliment me, lift me up to feel good about myself, and challenge me to be a better person. I don't think that's too much to ask, is it?

I'm finding that older relationships are harder to maintain, the ones from childhood that have to transition to adult relationships. I just recently really became an adult in the past year. I have bought a home, moved in with G, finished school, started a full time career, and got married. Pretty huge, ground shaking, life altering changes...all in the past year. I've changed a huge deal. I know that, I understand that. But it still makes me really sad when a friend I've had for a really long time just doesn't seem to match up with who I am today, even though we fit so perfectly when we were young. How have we both changed so much in this transition that we longer connect? How is it that we no longer feel the comforts within each other's company that we once felt? And why is it that this is true for countless relationships-they dwindle and fade until there is nothing left but the past?

Maybe I'm becoming pickier-which I don't see as a bad thing. Maybe I truly see who these women are as we grow up and have to make honest, life changing decisions constantly that shape who we are and how we will live our lives. Everyone makes choices, and I honestly believe that a lot of our choices will determine who we spend our time with. Our interests, activities, and let's face it, money, all come into play. Our choices about where to spend our money is a huge reflection of where we spend our time. We all make choices about who to go on trips with, who to go to dinner with, who to have a drink with. It all takes money, and it all takes choices.

I don't want to throw away good friendships, espcially because I know people drift apart and come together depending on where they are in their lives, so I need to be careful about who I'm choosing to spend my time with.

So...I will continue to wonder and contemplate and struggle through these questions, and maybe one day I will understand. In the meantime I feel more than lucky to have a few amazing women in my life who can pull me up, make me laugh and who make my life better than it ever could be.

A real, honest relationship with between women is a rare thing...so if you have it, hold on tight.

me and my mom, the best woman I know.

Shauna xx